No New Friends or New Best Friends?

[GNews]

Some of you may have been born into money. Others had to work to achieve.

The experiences may have been different or the same. I have two questions:

1) Were you born into financially stable future?

2) On your rise to new succcess(es), were you able to retain the same friends or did you find yourself making new best friends?

To me, this is more about finding comfort in newfound positions of success. Lots of people will go through this repeated cycle. Great psychological insight.

Answering my own questions:

1) I was born into a lower middle class family that worked into the stable middle class. I wasn't born without opportunity but I def was eating 'spam' as a kid and spent summers with family in a rural country town where roaches were plentiful . I spent quite a few times in trailors without knowing how city society viewed 'us' in those enviornments but it's majorly different there. My mom hates me telling that because she grew out of it .. 1st generation. lol

2) On my rise to success I lost tons of friends. I realized our dedication to work and achieving were different. I also found a lot of people would become jealous and try to get attention, as I would get, in my position of 'over achiever.'

I have 1 best friend who I did grow up with out of like 30. I don't talk to anyone else consistently that i grew up with really. People from my neighborhood as a kid, i'll always talk to and I have people I'm always open to around my city. Good people BUT i know, our mentalities went in different directions. There's only one person who i consider a 'brother' from growing up.

I've since met 2 people I'm really cool with . We travel together & meet up places. We've done the couple dates thing, always a good experience.

 

[BCN]

1) Both my parents are school teachers, and we were several kids, so not a lot of money - but also not poor. Normal I guess.

2) Yeah, the good ones I've kept. I don't believe that you need to cut out a lot of people for the whole hustle thing unless their behavior is completely destructive to you (i.e. if you shoot heroin with them, sure cut them from your life).

 

[Ryuzaki]

1) My family was lower middle class, multiple siblings. Never felt like I went without anything I needed, though everything was provided under the guise of birthday and christmas gifts (getting socks and underwear for your birthday, shoes for christmas, etc.) I'm grateful that they made that work out but everything else was miserable and dysfunctional. I pay the cost for that to this day. My parents are still together but all of us would have been far better off if they divorced. After us kids moved out it went to hell in a hand basket fast and become lower class financially.

2) I've got one friend from high school I might see once every couple of years but we text and chat. I've got one friend from college still. I had multiples from college but they changed as people as opposed to me. Otherwise I've made some other friends that I'll see once a week for a couple hours for half the year and then infrequently the rest of the year.

This is largely because I didn't bother keeping up with workmates in the past, etc. They were either leeches or had problems and drama I didn't want to associate with. And you have to be selective when you're as busy as we are. The reason I see my real friends infrequently is because we're all adults with households, spouses, children, families, chores, and work. That's just how it ends up. We do our best.

 

[Future State]

"No new friends" is a silly rap meme.

What really ends up happening is you find unsuccessful people's motives for befriending you can't be trusted, either because they betray you and start begging or you're just a paranoid dummy who wasn't smart enough to not disclose his net worth or cash flow to broke bums.

This is why millionaire's clubs and billionaire's clubs exist (you hang with people on the same level as you), as well as basic stuff like Lion's clubs and fraternities and church communities exist (it has nothing to do with money).

It'd be easy to say "pick your friends better" but we're all too complex, the rich and broke and in between. Sometimes it's better to go where it's all either laid on the table or the expectation is that it'll never get talked about because you're there for a different reason.

One thing to do is to go to meetups where you become friends because you have similar interests. Then the money has nothing to do with it and can be mentioned years later or never at all.

 

[GNews]

^ But you never talked about your own personal experience.

You seem very narcissistic. All your posts just seem to tell people what to do and who they are.

Interesting. I'd love to hear your actual experiences however, if you'd like to contribute actual wisdom of your own experiences.

 

[DD1]

1-) I grew up lower middle class in a banana republic in South America. My parents were divorced, my father was an alcoholic who drank himself to death and never had any significant involvement in my life. Life was complicated but I was always well fed and clothed. I always went to private schools because public schools back home are really ghetto, but never had a car or even a landline at home. (Those were expensive as heck, years on a waiting line, it could have been a communist country.)

2-) I wouldn't know the answer. So far in my life, I have moved countries more than once, and I don't use social media to keep up with old friends. I am getting ready to "go back" someplace for the first time in my life later this year. (Fingers crossed!)

From my current experience, keeping friends or making new friends depends a lot on having a common enemy.

If you have an old childhood friend who evolves along with you in order to also become a driven individual, with certain goals in life, then the friendship will remain in place. I have recently reconnected with a cousin and we share many views on life, money, work ethic, and so on. We haven't seen each other in 20+ years, and it is as if we were born from the same mother.

I have also studied in Japan. It is easy, and tempting, to hang out only among the expats and find your sub crowd there. I made many friends and met many others that way. But once you finish your studies, then part of the bond that forged the friendship is gone.

Currently I live in Italy. I decided to do things differently and I learned the language, made local friends, and so on. It is still not the same. While I have met a few people who are also motivated and driven, I am always "the foreigner" who "does things different". While I adopted that and made it part of my personality (because it gives me the right to do whatever I want whenever I want and blame it on being born and raised in a galaxy far, far away LOL), friendship still feels different.

The "crabs in a bucket" analogy and the "frog and scorpion" tale both describe well my experiences in dealing with old and new friendships throughout the years.

^ But you never talked about your own personal experience.

You seem very narcissistic. All your posts just seem to tell people what to do and who they are.

Interesting. I'd love to hear your actual experiences however, if you'd like to contribute actual wisdom of your own experiences.

At first, I kind of agreed with the message above yours, but then I read your answer and LOLd. Ouch!

Anyways, your message made me want to share my experience as well.

 

[BCN]

I think the whole thing of expecting your childhood friends to be all hustlers or super driven is a bit stupid. If they are good people, they've been there for you and you still get along, then I don't see the point of cutting them out because they play video games, party too much or aren't entrepreneurial-minded.

You can hang out with them on your terms anyways, you don't need to cut them out. I meet my old friends from my home country once a year. It's a motley crew of unemployed, guys working in grocery stores, millionaires, police officers, active military service etc. We all get along. We just play poker, drink, fish, barbeque and then we all go back and do our thing then we leave.

I don't think I'm better than them, we just chose different paths.

Some are happy working in a supermarket, it doesn't mean you need to ditch them and try to make billionaire friends because "never be the smartest person in the room" or some other self-help-millionaire-seminar circle jerk book quote.

 

[GNews]

I think the whole thing of expecting your childhood friends to be all hustlers or super driven is a bit stupid. If they are good people, they've been there for you and you still get along, then I don't see the point of cutting them out because they play video games, party too much or aren't entrepreneurial-minded.

You can hang out with them on your terms anyways, you don't need to cut them out. I meet my old friends from my home country once a year. It's a motley crew of unemployed, guys working in grocery stores, millionaires, police officers, active military service etc. We all get along. We just play poker, drink, fish, barbeque and then we all go back and do our thing then we leave.

I don't think I'm better than them, we just chose different paths.

Some are happy working in a supermarket, it doesn't mean you need to ditch them and try to make billionaire friends because "never be the smartest person in the room" or some other self-help-millionaire-seminar circle jerk book quote.

I have tried to train myself to not live in a 'hypothetical world' as least as I can

To understand the world as 'perfect as it is' because life's process = all about recycling

I'm not interested in book quotes. Just wisdom to read.

Somebody's post here will be read by someone who's going through social struggles that may be robbing them of their own personal success. The solution may just be above.

Life is not a complicated matter. We tend to complicate it by putting on clothes for fashion.

Getting over those taught fashions of our culture can help shape a HUGE part of our own destiny in this ACTUAL world.

 

[Olov]

"No new friends" is a silly rap meme.

What really ends up happening is you find unsuccessful people's motives for befriending you can't be trusted, either because they betray you and start begging or you're just a paranoid dummy who wasn't smart enough to not disclose his net worth or cash flow to broke bums.

This is why millionaire's clubs and billionaire's clubs exist (you hang with people on the same level as you), as well as basic stuff like Lion's clubs and fraternities and church communities exist (it has nothing to do with money).

It'd be easy to say "pick your friends better" but we're all too complex, the rich and broke and in between. Sometimes it's better to go where it's all either laid on the table or the expectation is that it'll never get talked about because you're there for a different reason.

One thing to do is to go to meetups where you become friends because you have similar interests. Then the money has nothing to do with it and can be mentioned years later or never at all.

^ But you never talked about your own personal experience.

You seem very narcissistic. All your posts just seem to tell people what to do and who they are.

Interesting. I'd love to hear your actual experiences however, if you'd like to contribute actual wisdom of your own experiences.

Is this because he told you to stop promoting your service in every thread?

Anyway, I don't want to partake in this argument - but you should @ or quote someone if you are going to talk down on them. I think that would be the decent thing to do, no matter if you like the person or not.

 

[GNews]

Is this because he told you to stop promoting your service in every thread?

Anyway, I don't want to partake in this argument - but you should @ or quote someone if you are going to talk down on them. I think that would be the decent thing to do, no matter if you like the person or not.

You mean I actually tell the truth about what I'm doing so people have direct / unfiltered information?

And i dont do this every post by far.

This posts is a prime example of this. There's no promotion here until you brought it up. But I am very clearly a person who pays to support this forum and paid my dues to do so . Any posts where i mention using a technique, doesn't say " buy from me" . I just made it clear what I did.

If you're sensitive to that it's easy to just skip my posts. I only mention this in my own posts because there's 2 labs about what I am doing with my business. There was 1 where a person questioned about YouTube ranking..... which was my speicality years ago............ If you check my older posts here on BuSO, i mentioned this. People doubted me on WickedFire that YoUTube would become a viable source of revenue.. Lol and I laugh at those people now because they denied the information.

 

[Olov]

You mean I actually tell the truth about what I'm doing so people have direct / unfiltered information?

And i dont do this every post by far.

This posts is a prime example of this. There's no promotion here until you brought it up. But I am very clearly a person who pays to support this forum and paid my dues to do so . Any posts where i mention using a technique, doesn't say " buy from me" . I just made it clear what I did.

If you're sensitive to that it's easy to just skip my posts. I only do this in my own posts because there's 2 labs about what I am doing with my business.

Calm down.

I'm not sensitive at all and I don't care that you promote your service in posts and your username.

I just pointed out that it looks weak to talk bad about someone(s post), without actually quoting or @ them. It's kinda like whispering behinds someones back. No need to get your panties wet.

 

[GNews]

Calm down.

I'm not sensitive at all and I don't care that you promote your service in posts and your username.

I just pointed out that it looks weak to talk bad about someone(s post), without actually quoting or @ them. It's kinda like whispering behinds someones back. No need to get your panties wet.

Show me 3 posts where I promote my service that are NOT my own lab or the marketplace posts.

Maybe i'm missing 'all these posts'

Just want to clarify. I like facts.

 

[Olov]

Show me 3 posts where I promote my service that are NOT my own lab or the marketplace posts.

Maybe i'm missing 'all these posts'

Just want to clarify. I like facts.

While being all up in your emotions I think you missed what I actually wrote: "Is this because he told you to stop promoting your service in every thread? "

I am of course not going to sit and lookg through all of your posts. But seeing that you have a whole lab dedicated to funnel people to your service, and the service name in your username is enough for me.

And we of course have the thread where he told you off: https://www.buildersociety.com/threads/music-artist-help-how-to-get-attention.4485/#post-45910

Backlinks help too. My Google News service helped an artist gain over 10k views and an organic buzz that's still growing.

lol..

*EDIT*

And my point was not to argue about however you spam or not, or if you give the impression of being an Indian spammer from BHW or Warriorforum.

I just pointed out that not @ ing or quoting the poster you talk bad about is a very cowardly thing to do.

 

[GNews]

While being all up in your emotions I think you missed what I actually wrote: "Is this because he told you to stop promoting your service in every thread? "

I am of course not going to sit and lookg through all of your posts. But seeing that you have a whole lab dedicated to funnel people to your service, and the service name in your username is enough for me.

And we of course have the thread where he told you off: https://www.buildersociety.com/threads/music-artist-help-how-to-get-attention.4485/#post-45910


lol..

*EDIT*

And my point was not to argue about however you spam or not, or if you give the impression of being an Indian spammer from BHW or Warriorforum.

I just pointed out that not @ng or quoting the poster you talk bad about is a very cowardly thing to do.

^ I'll stop replying after this. No facts + an argument, not my cup of tea.

But thanks for proving my point. 1 post.

It seemed to me you're more in your emotions to even create the post/reply without any facts.

Feelings can feel like facts sometimes & some people just live off the feelings, bogarting their way through life with people who accept their behavior. Donald Trump took it all the way to the top.

I just demand facts. It doesn't bother me at all to clarify things.

Thanks again.

 

[Olov]

^ I'll stop replying after this. No facts + an argument, not my cup of tea.

But thanks for proving my point. 1 post.

It seemed to me you're more in your emotions to even create the post/reply without any facts.

Feelings can feel like facts sometimes & some people just live off the feelings, bogarting their way through life with people who accept their behavior. Donald Trump took it all the way to the top.

I just demand facts. It doesn't bother me at all to clarify things.

Thanks again.

Since you are behaving like a little teenage girl, I did a quick search and found 3 posts, as you requested. It took me 2 minutes to find. So probably there are loads more. Here you go:

https://www.buildersociety.com/threads/waving-results.4217/
"Can google news influence this heavily? " - Could you be more subtle?

https://www.buildersociety.com/threads/music-artist-help-how-to-get-attention.4485/#post-45910

https://www.buildersociety.com/thre...-make-the-dream-happen.4225/page-2#post-43981
"Charles Floate immediately saw the use of my Google NEws service that was offered here on BUSO. He acquired the company. Smart man ... he gets it " - Lol, just lol..

In addition to that: you have two lab threads that are only made to advertise for your crappy service.

I think everyone can see your behaviour in this thread. At first I thought you were just a coward for talking behind someones back. But now you have showed everyone that you are just a little punk. Look how emotional you are.

What are you going to bitch about now?

I'm out, I've already spent enough time on this clown. I'm sure a lot of people wants to buy your service after your posts in this thread. ;-)

 

[GNews]

Parroting my first post.

I think you must have misread it.

Hopefully you can read it again before replying.

1st answer - i didn't promote anything. Your idea of 'subtle' is your feeling< Not a fact. Your posts have promoted me far more aggressively than ANYTHING i've done. So are you a promoter for my business or what?
2nd answer - see my first post *shrugs*
3rd answer - Facts. And My post About my life. So, i talk about what I do.

Was much easier for you to say "I can't generate 3 posts. You're right. "

1) But judging by your initial post, i can tell you've got some sort of disdain/hate for me. The reply was your first action/step towards showing it. Welcome to psychology 101.

2) Your replies = more promotion for my posts than anything I've done myself and my service is factual.

Thanks.

 

[Olov]

And if someone still doesn't understand what type of this dude is, you can check this hilarious thread as well: https://www.buildersociety.com/threads/issues-with-buso-post-notifications.4427/

I'm starting to think you are the narcsissist.

Regarding your psychology 101 - no, in fact I have seen you on the forum maybe once or twice. I always disregard your posts because of your username.

I was obviously right for doing so.

 

[Ryuzaki]

Let's Get This Back on Track:

I didn't go into depth in my post above, but I'd like to add that I feel like people's tendency to start to wall themselves off as they get bigger isn't something that's new friend's fault so much as old friend's faults.

You end up with a net loss of total number of friends due to attrition. I did mention how we become busy adults and parents or entrepreneurs and there's less time and contact starts happening more infrequently. That's what seems to happen with people who are into their own lives and doing their own thing, like they should. And you lose some there.

You also lose some to people who become straight up jealous haters. Even family members will pull this stunt. I've not had it happen with money in any serious way, but there's comments, you know. They start trying to get one over on you any way they can. Anyone who's tried to lose weight knows about this family sabotage. But friends are easy to lose if they turn envious.

The people who end up sticking around and keeping up contact with you (more than you contact them)... a portion of them end up being leeches. I've had many a friend ask to become a 50/50 partner in my existing businesses, or for me to take the time to spoon feed them and give them all my trade secrets so they can get started. I'd be happy to do that if they showed any initiative past asking me to do it for them. I phase these people out.

It hasn't stopped me from being open to having new friends, or suspicious of new friends. I'm not super wealthy either and definitely nothing on the outside would make it seem like I have the nest egg and cash flow I do. But I can imagine it gets into some people's heads. Especially if they can tack on one or two examples of new people playing these games.

If anything, we need to stay open for networking. We can find new associates to mutually benefit from or at least clients.

Then again, that'd go against my motto... "No New Clients!"

 

[GNews]

The people who end up sticking around and keeping up contact with you (more than you contact them)... a portion of them end up being leeches. I've had many a friend ask to become a 50/50 partner in my existing businesses, or for me to take the time to spoon feed them and give them all my trade secrets so they can get started. I'd be happy to do that if they showed any initiative past asking me to do it for them. I phase these people out.

Saw this on refresh.

One issue I've had is people asking for help. Then you give them help , advice, opportunity and they turn it down. They might actually disappear after agreeing to invest.

Then they see you winning and want to come back and start conversing again.

A turtle tucking it's head n the sight of risk and then coming back out, when they hear sounds of celebration.

This type of stuff made me appreciate living out of my car because it's literally a solid 90% of people I've known because I was born into a lower middle class / less setting.

EVERY PERSON i've met in life who gave me something or partnered with me in something came from the internet. Once I moved to Atlanta though, within a few month I met 2 people who were definitely more active in pursuing their goals.

One I partnered with. ONe i told about this forum and I'm helping them rank their ecommerce site now. they've learned a lot here on BuSo already.